Choose the letter that best describes how you feel or act most often.
1. When it comes to situations that remind me of negative experiences…
A. I avoid or shy away from these situations. I brush them under the rug.
B. I try my best to face them head-on whenever possible.
C. I become angry and want to vent/complain.
2. When I see something uncomfortable that I’m worried will affect me emotionally…
A. I immediately (consciously or unconsciously) put up an emotional wall so I will not feel the full impact.
B. I do what I can to prepare, then I deal with the impact by taking care of my feelings or the situation.
C. I panic, experience anxiety, and think about it nonstop.
3. When it comes to trusting people…
A. My philosophy is that people aren’t trustworthy unless they have truly proven to be so.
B. I do my best to be open, but will put my guard up as needed if someone appears to be untrustworthy.
C. I openly share my feelings because I hope that they will sympathize with me and see how wrongly I was treated.
4. If I am dealing with other people and they push my buttons or stir up old emotions…
A. I run away or distance myself completely. I ignore it or distract myself.
B. I do my best to educate myself and the other person (if possible) so that we can both be conscious and cautious about it.
C. I become angry inside, outwardly defensive, or internally hurt – especially if they point out my mistakes.
5. When thinking about myself and emotional health…
A. I view myself as in a place where my feelings will be misunderstood. I feel at loss at what to say.
B. I see my strengths and weaknesses. I try to focus on improving what I can.
C. I feel sorry for myself, blame others, or hysterically cry.
6. The emotional baggage that was caused by other people in my life makes me feel…
A. Resentful, angry and/or emotional toward them.
B. No matter what I am feeling, I do my best to understand it and heal so I can move forward in a healthier way.
C. Like no one loves me, understands me, or accepts me.
If most of the answers that you chose were the letter “A,” you have a hard time dealing with your emotional burdens. Your tendency is to react negatively by withdrawing, feeling hopeless or behaving angrily. If you tend to handle your baggage this way, you may tend to feel anxious, isolated, angry, resentful, depressed and even lonely. It is important for you to find a sense of hope and a willingness to heal from whatever in your past is troubling you. You might try to fool yourself into thinking that your baggage doesn’t need to be dealt with. People who are like this often find themselves caught off guard because they don’t see things coming. They can have emotional reactions that they do not know how to deal with, and they will tend to lack the skills and tools to learn from past struggles. If you answered with many responses in this category, you need to gently learn to re-engage in your life so that you can learn and grow. You also need to work on coping skills to face what makes you uncomfortable. Seek support and guidance from experts, professionals and your support system.
If most of your answers were letter “B,” you are doing a good job of being aware of your emotional baggage and do your best to try to manage it in a healthy way. You are not afraid to look for the truth in situations and are open to trying new experiences. You tend to be hopeful, optimistic and growth-oriented.
If most of your answers were letter “C,” you most likely suffer from victimhood. A victim has trouble accepting they contributed to a problem and accepting responsibility for the circumstance that they are in. Instead, they point the finger, or simply ignore their role in perpetuating the problem. They are not overtly saying “I’m a victim”, but instead indirectly sending the message that they’re a martyr. What’s the remedy here? Every circumstance, situation, and event in their life offers the victim an opportunity for growth. They may not be completely responsible for what has occurred, but they can always ask if they contributed somehow. Asking this question invites a person to be responsible, mature and cooperative. Plus, it will help them avoid similar situations in the future. You can read more about victimhood here.