Coaching vs. Counseling

TayyibaatWives is a coaching service specifically designed to help Muslim women with their marriages based on the ‘Virtues of a TayyibaatWife.’

What is wife coaching?

Many women ask about the difference between coaching and professional marriage counseling.

For these reasons, many coaches hold the opinion that coaching produces quicker and better results.

Wife coaching is a specialized field that caters to women only.  The coach’s role is to help the client to realize:

  • what is weakening the relationship,
  • what the client can do to fix and strengthen it,
  • and what the client should hope to gain in her marriage.

Wife coaching is solution based and centered on what the client is willing to do to make the marriage work.

Having said that, what you should know is that much of the initial change and ‘first’ push come from the client’s side. However, what most women find is that when they see the positive outcome of these choices in their relationship, they tend to lose sight of this detail, and what originally seemed so foreign now becomes second nature to them.

It’s important to remember a primary coaching principle:

You can only change yourself.

But what’s amazing is that the change in one person’s attitude and energy can indirectly influence the other spouse to improve as well. Just like you want to feel loved, appreciated, respected, and adored no matter what – so does he! By changing yourself, most men tend to just follow suit. This is a fact well-accepted even amongst experts in this field. Despite what you’ve heard, it generally takes one person to change a marriage, not two.


Does coaching work for everyone?

It really depends on the state of the marriage and how much the client is willing to work towards improving it. Potential clients will receive a questionnaire that they must fill out before the first meeting, which will help the coach determine if TayyibaatWives can be of service to the client’s needs (Read: Who We Cannot Help) and what TayyibaatWives can offer the client inshaAllah. We’re able to assess the marriage from the beginning and inform the client if we think that we can help. Then the client can pray istikhara and decide what she thinks is best. If she wants to proceed, she can book a one-on-one session with the coach.

If you start and are unsure if you want to continue, it may be a good idea to hang in there and try coaching for two months before making a decision of whether you want to move onto trying something different. Yet, for most women who honestly give it their best shot, they often don’t need to dig up their plan B. Even the small changes bring huge gifts to a marriage.


Do I even need a coach?

Many women claim that they’ve tried everything out there. However, when we look into their situation, what we see is that they are often applying tactics and solutions that work against encouraging long-lasting results.

This is where coaching plays its part. Through the guidance and support of another woman, you are better equipped to implement the right moves in your marriage. For the majority of women that extra help of feminine power is needed in order to make it a consistent, permanent change.

Some people think that their marriage problems are overly complicated and can never be resolved. “You don’t understand how big our problems are,” is a common phrase that runs through the minds of these types of people. That may be true but what they don’t understand is that for most people, many miscommunications and differences only require simple solutions. The hardship comes in living up to them, and this is why we believe coaching is a must for any woman in this type of situation. You don’t have to be alone. We can help inshaAllah.


Why “Islamic” wife coaching?

Regardless of a person’s religious affiliation, any coach can produce excellent and astonishing results since it’s really the dynamic of the strategies and the client that brings the true success to light, but the reality is that someone who is not familiar with the Sacred Law (shariah) will often unintentionally encourage actions that are against it, particularly in regard to bedroom issues, gender roles, and marital rights.

Also, many relationship coaches focus on the worldly aspects of being in a relationship, whereas for a Muslim, the whole point of being married and putting in the work to make the marriage successful is for Allah’s sake alone. In truth, this is where the real blessing (baraka) and success (tawfiq) comes from, providing that the client and coach both make a very sincere intention.

The tactics and strategies used at TayyibaatWives are rooted in what Islam encourages and permits in a marriage between a Muslim man and a Muslim woman. It focuses on promoting, nurturing, and instilling the structure of traditional gender roles and gracious Islamic character (akhlaq) in a marriage, with a unique understanding of each client’s individual circumstances.

By coaching with a Muslimah, you already have so much in common because you share a spiritual connection together, and this creates something more beautiful and more powerful than with anyone else. The goal is the same. It’s not the husband. It’s not the marriage. It’s Allah, and Allah alone.

Interested in our coaching services? Click here for more details.