5. The Wife’s Role (Unpaid)

It is related that the Prophet said: “When a person gets married he has completed half of his religion, so let him fear Allah with regard to the other half.” (al-Bayhaqi)

Scholars who comment upon this narration say that the reason a person completes half of his/her religion when marrying is because his eyes and genitals are protected from the unlawful. As for the other half of one’s religion that must be feared for, it involves carrying out all the remaining aspects of the deen – such that one takes care to abide by Allah Most High’s commands and avoid His prohibitions.

In this narration, the Prophet is explaining to believers that a person’s religion cannot be complete without both halves. By saying that marriage involves half of a person’s deen, he is encouraging believers in the most emphatic way to get married, while also warning them in the strongest terms to not become lax in their practice of the religion thereafter.

Definitely, how someone treats their spouse is included in the second half of this Prophetic warning. Consequently, it is upon every wife to learn the other half and abide by it in her everyday interactions with her husband. It is her duty to understand what being a Muslim wife actually entails and live up to her praiseworthy standards. A woman’s seriousness concerning this matter will determine the quality of her marriage and the worth of her spiritual devotion.

It cannot be denied that millions of Muslim marriages thrived for centuries by merely following the simplistic teachings of the deen. Allah Most High sent humanity revelation in all matters and He did not leave people to figure out how to make a marriage work, especially given its importance as the backbone of any decent Islamic community. The truth is there for anyone who wants to seek it and to know it.

A mere glance at the Prophet’s marriages and the lives of the female Companions (Allah have mercy on all of them) is enough to fill one’s heart with the right perspective. Their goal was clear: to please Allah Most High and to follow the honorable way of His Messenger , which was sometimes contrary to the pagan practices in the Arabian peninsula. Due to the rise of feminist ideologies and individualism, Muslims are at a similar crossroad – to choose Allah Most High and His Messenger or embrace society’s lonely ways.

The Sacred Law rulings provide a structure and framework for Muslim marriages so that they are laid upon a sound foundation. However, whenever pious scholars speak about marriage, they always make sure to mention that creating a blissful Islamic marriage is not based upon keeping score of black and white rights and duties.

When you’re interacting with your husband on a day-to-day basis, the standard that is necessary and what you must refer to is showing excellence (ihsan). Forming a blissful marriage demands that you exceed what you are required to give and overlook what you are obliged to receive.

Allah Most High says:  “Is there any reward for good (ihsan) – other than good (ihsan)?” [Qur’an 55:50]

By keeping score of each other’s excellence, a beautiful bond is formed over the years because the motivating factor when taking care of your spouse was to compete in the good.

So, how does a wife fulfill her role with excellence?

The answers are in this guide inshaAllah. This guide gives you a practical view of how to live married life from a wife’s perspective. It is based on the wisdom of scholars, stories from happy wives, and seeing what strategies worked best in the marriages of TayyibaatWives’ clients.

TayyibaatWives encourages you to read this advice with an open mind and a sincere heart. It could be that what seems strange may be what is most pleasing to Allah Most High and what really works to produce a harmonious, lifelong relationship with your husband.

The Prophet  said: “Islam began as something strange and will revert to being strange as it began, so give glad tidings to the strangers.” (Muslim)

In a narration, the Prophet  explained who the strangers will be by saying: “Those who rectify themselves [and others] when the people have become corrupt.” (Ahmad)

Despite the widespread corruption in today’s times, there are still prosperous Muslim marriages flourishing, and nearly all of them have a common factor: the wife is doing specific actions that make the marriage good. 

Consequently, during the newlywed stage, it is imperative that you:

  • Utilize this fun phase for the sake of the long-term. Use it as a time to strengthen each other’s physical attraction, build a solid emotional connection, and create happy memories that you can both fall back on during the hard times.
  • Form healthy habits in your relationship and maintain them. Practice being patient, kind, and caring towards each other. The work is easier when your slate is clean and it becomes much harder when anger breeds grudges, resentment, and false assumptions.
  • Learn the tricks of the trade. Discover how to win your husband’s heart by reading this guide. Return to it periodically in order to remind yourself of what a true Muslim wife must be for the sake of her Creator.

While contemporary relationship advice mainly speaks about how to better communication, avoid excessive conflict, and get through extra-marital affairs, it hardly ever informs women about the mighty power that they have in their hands to win their husband’s hearts and shape the relationship to what they desire. This concept is what many previous Muslim women believed, what they were taught, and what they were naturally acting upon for centuries.

So, how does a wife win her husband’s heart?