The successful Muslim wife is the woman who Allah Mighty and Majestic gives success (tawfiq) to in her marriage. She is the one who is avid to learn what Allah Most High and the Prophet ﷺ say about how to be a righteous wife. When her eyes fall upon what revelation says, her entire being is pulled towards heading in one direction: the path to her eternal abode.
The Prophet ﷺ said: “If a woman prays her five prayers, performs her Ramadan fasts, preserves her chastity, and obeys her husband, it will be said to her ‘enter Paradise from any door you wish.’ ” (Ahmad)
The successful Muslim wife is the woman who makes pleasing Her Lord the number one priority in her life. She lives and interacts in the world for His sake alone. Consequently, she views her marriage as just another form of worship – another way to draw closer to Her Creator. She takes her role seriously because she fears what Her Lord will ask her about on the Last Day and this is the ultimate source of her constant motivation.
The Prophet ﷺ said: “Any woman who dies whilst her husband is pleased with her will enter Paradise.” (Tirmidhi)
The successful Muslim wife is the woman who accepts that pleasing her husband and making him happy is the best form of worship that she can engage in as a wife. If Allah Mighty and Majestic is her aim, she will be rewarded for every attempt that she makes to show her husband love inshaAllah. She knows that Allah Most High will elevate her and bestow upon her a lofty rank, especially in today’s times when many women could care less for pursuing such an endeavor.
The Prophet ﷺ said, “This world is but a passing benefit, and the best passing benefit is a righteous woman.” (Muslim)
The successful Muslim wife is the woman who helps her husband to be righteous. She is an example for him, just as he is an example for her. She teaches him how to treat her by the way she treats him. The successful Muslim wife does not merely copy any of the bad habits that she may have seen from her parents’ marriage, nor does she allow her anger to irresponsibly drive her reactions. She accepts that there is room for improvement in her deen and inspires her husband to improve himself by her own attempts to purify her heart and limbs from the unlawful.
The Prophet ﷺ said: “Should I not inform you of the best of wealth for a man? A righteous wife. When he looks at her, she pleases him. When he asks her to do something, she does it, and when he is not present, she protects him [his property, his wealth, and his honor by remaining chaste].” (Abu Dawud)
The successful Muslim wife is the woman who longs to be a source of comfort and ease for her husband. She makes her marriage a friendship by demonstrating gracious Islamic character towards her husband. She follows the Prophetic example to her utmost capability in her everyday interactions. By being warm, giving, cheerful, and loving, her husband feels emotionally safe in her presence, enjoys her company, and looks forward to seeing her.
She accepts her duty as the keeper of the relationship because she recognizes the obvious advantage that her superb emotional intelligence gives her. She does not allow her relationship to go on autopilot. She is constantly behind the wheel, steering her marriage in the direction that is most pleasing to Allah Most High.
When she realizes that she can do more to care for her husband, she fills her relationship’s love tank up with the best fuel in the market. She’s not interested in being her husband’s roommate; she wants to be his lover, his cheerleader, and his best friend. When she sees a problem that is hurting their connection as a couple, she addresses it and does whatever it takes to solve it.
The successful Muslim wife is the woman who her husband can trust with his belongings and good name. She does not waste his money, lose it, or spend it on unnecessary things. She does not tattle tale on him, gossip about him behind his back, or sell him out for the sake of her ego.
The Prophet ﷺ said: “When a husband calls his wife for something he needs, let her come immediately even if she is baking bread on a flaming oven.” (Ahmad)
The successful Muslim wife is the woman who understands how men work. When he has a need, she knows that it must be important to him, so she is keen to fulfill it. She helps make his life easy for him by being his close companion, sidekick, and partner in the good. She doesn’t nag him or pester him when he’s obviously stressed and busy. She knows how to read him so she confidently gives him space to run his own affairs.
The Prophet ﷺ said: “Allah does not look at a woman on the Day of Judgement who is ungrateful to her husband while she is dependent upon him for her needs.” (Tabarani)
The successful Muslim wife is the woman who admires her husband’s good qualities and consistently expresses gratitude for his contributions to the marriage, especially if he is breadwinner of their household. The successful Muslim wife cheers her husband on when he wins and is by his side when he falls. She actively voices her appreciation and does not make him feel like a failure in his ability to provide for her and make her happy.
The Prophet ﷺ said: “Each of you is a person tending to those under his care and each of you shall be answerable to those under his care. All of those in leadership are caretakers. And a man is the caretaker over those in his home. And a woman is the caretaker of her husband’s home and the supervisor over his children…Each of you is a caretaker and each of you will be answerable for those in his charge.” (Bukhari & Muslim)
The successful Muslim wife is the one who keeps her home clean and tidy. She raises her children with proper Islamic etiquette and values. She stays on top of her domestic duties and does not allow extracurricular activities, work, or study to distract her away from completing them. She spends her time occupied in the good that she can do for her family and does not waste her life away on the internet. She understands that her main job is to be a wife and mother, and they will be of the first matters that Allah Most High will question her about on the Day of Judgment.
Asma bint Yazeed (Allah be pleased with her) came to the Prophet ﷺ as a representative for the women and said to the Prophet ﷺ, “…The men have surpassed us in rewards through the Friday prayer, congregational prayers, visiting the ill, participating in funeral prayers, many pilgrimages, and jihad in the path of Allah…” The Prophet ﷺ instructed her to return to the women she was representing with the message, “Your adorning and beautifying yourselves for your husbands, and your strivings to please your husbands, and your obedience to the wishes of your husbands equals these actions in reward.” (Bayhaqi)
The successful Muslim wife is the woman who fascinates her husband with her feminine charm. She regularly dresses up for him, flirts with him, and entices him. She does not refuse engaging in marital relations and she is the temptress of their domain. The successful Muslim wife learns how to balance between being a lover, a mother, and a wife. She takes care of her husband’s needs to the best of her capability. The Prophet ﷺ told her that she will receive the reward of jihad for her striving to fulfill her husband’s wishes; so she does her holy duty.
The Prophet ﷺ said: “Look at how you treat him for verily, he is your Paradise or Hell.” (Nasa’i and Ahmad)
The successful Muslim wife is the woman who repents when she does any wrong towards her husband. She fears that Allah Mighty and Majestic will take her to account for her missteps so she makes tawba for her mistakes and asks her husband for his forgiveness. She frequently begs Allah Most High to help make her a better wife despite her many deficiencies. Even though she may not be perfect, the successful Muslim wife is the one who Allah Most High still grants goodness in her marital affairs due to her sincerity and pure heart.