All praise is due to Allah Mighty and Majestic and may peace and blessings be upon His noble Messenger, the Chosen One.
It is related that the Prophet ﷺ said: “When a person gets married he has completed half of his religion, so let him fear Allah with regard to the other half.” (al-Bayhaqi)
Scholars who comment upon this narration say that the reason a person completes half of his/her religion when marrying is because his eyes and genitals are protected from the unlawful. As for the other half of one’s religion that must be feared for, it involves carrying out all the remaining aspects of the deen – such that one takes care to abide by Allah Most High’s commands and avoid His prohibitions.
The Prophet ﷺ is explaining to us that a person’s religion cannot be complete without both halves. By telling us that marriage involves half of our deen, he ﷺ is encouraging us in the most emphatic way to get married, while also warning us in the strongest terms to not become lax in our practice of the religion thereafter.
Definitely, how we treat our spouse is included in the second half of this Prophetic warning. Consequently, it is upon us as wives to learn and to live the other half in our everyday interactions with our husband. It is our duty to understand what being a Muslim wife actually entails and live up to her praiseworthy standards. Our seriousness concerning this matter will determine the quality of our marriages and the worth of our spiritual devotion.
It cannot be denied that millions of Muslim marriages thrived for centuries by merely following the simplistic teachings of the deen. Allah Most High sent us revelation in all of our matters and He did not leave us to ourselves to figure out how to make a marriage work, especially given its importance as the backbone of any decent Islamic community. The truth is there for anyone who wants to seek it and to know it.
A mere glance at the Prophet’s marriages ﷺ and the lives of the female Companions (Allah have mercy on all of them) is enough to fill one’s heart with the right perspective. Their goal was clear: to please Allah Most High and to follow the honorable way of His Messenger ﷺ, which was sometimes contrary to the pagan practices in the Arabian peninsula. Due to the rise of feminist ideologies and individualism, we are at a similar crossroad – to choose Allah Most High and His Messenger ﷺ or embrace society’s lonely ways.
Yet, there are still prosperous Muslim marriages flourishing in our times, and nearly all of them have a common factor: the wife is doing specific actions that make the marriage good. Contemporary relationship advice mainly speaks about how to better communication, avoid excessive conflict, and get through extra-marital affairs. It hardly ever informs women about the mighty power that they have in their hands to win their husband’s hearts and shape the relationship to what they desire. This concept is what many previous Muslim women believed, what they were taught, and what they were naturally acting upon for centuries.
For the sake of helping newlyweds start their marriages off on the right foot, we’ve tried to gather this nearly lost knowledge. This advice offers a practical view of how to live married life from a wife’s perspective. Our advice is based on the wisdom of our teachers, stories from real life happy wives and pious women, and seeing what strategies worked best in our clients’ marriages. This is not a thesis or an argument, but rather it is advice for anyone who wishes to take it.
We are also not negating that the husband plays a large part in molding the marriage. Undoubtedly, his behavior and reactions will impact the relationship, but when we do our best as wives, Allah Most High places blessing in our actions. Indeed, we are able to bring out the best in our men when we are at our best as women.
Thus, we encourage our reader to read our advice with an open mind and a sincere heart. It could be that what seems strange may be what is most pleasing to Allah Most High and what really works to produce a harmonious, lifelong relationship with one’s husband.
The Prophet ﷺ said: “Islam began as something strange and will revert to being strange as it began, so give glad tidings to the strangers.” (Muslim)
In a narration, the Prophet ﷺ explained who the strangers will be by saying: “Those who rectify themselves [and others] when the people have become corrupt.” (Ahmad)
Be of those that hold on to the truth as this world falls apart and falters. Be of those who live their lives solely by revelation. Be of those who taste the sweetness faith by doing whatever it takes to cultivate a blissful Islamic marriage and build a spiritual haven for one’s offspring inshaAllah.
In order to benefit from this advice, we ask that you please:
- READ SECTIONS 1-6 FIRST.
- Read with your heart and do not skim.
- Read each section more than once.
- Why Wife Coaching, Not Husband Coaching
- The Difference Between Coaching & Counseling
- Who We Cannot Help